I'm so tired.
Like deep into the cells of my bones tired.
The fatigue lies over me like a weighted blanket. I lift my limbs to climb out of bed and it feels like I'm rising through mud.
I don't know how I'll move through my day.
When you're feeling like this day after day, you lower your expectations of yourself. Not in a bad way, but in a "I'm gonna show up, but that might be all" way.
And when you're feeling this way, the good things become extra exquisite. The bad things become extra rancid and ugly.
Despite my situation, I continue to look for the good.
This past week brought a few "exquisite" moments my way. Ones for which I am thankful for (in many different ways).
First, I received a gift in the mail from a person I've known since college. We worked together at the college newspaper. We even dated the same guy, around the same time. And that is probably why we were never close back in our younger days.
But over the years, we've connected here and there. She married and lost her first husband tragically. And I remember watching her (through social media) navigate her way through heartbreaking things...challenging times. She remarried and has a beautiful little family.
When I opened her gift today, I teared up.
I could feel the human connection. From one person who experienced heartache to another.
Thank you, Amanda.
Second, I received a phone call from my Uncle Steve.
We don't often talk or see each other because he lives in another state.
It meant the world that he took the time to call me. Not only did he want to check on me, he asked genuine questions about my health and kidney donation.
Thank you, Uncle Steve.
Third, a day long visit from my dear friend (my OG), Emily. She found care for her two babies, and drove from Louisville to hang. No one makes me laugh like her. A visit that left me full in a way only good friends can leave you.
Thank you, Emily.
Good things these days come in unique shapes and new sizes.
And I'm open to receiving them with an appreciative heart.
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